I had to put Bella to sleep on Wednesday.
On Tuesday, I took Bella to the vet. She had stopped eating or drinking, and she seemed really lethargic. Tests revealed that she had pancreatitis and her kidneys weren’t working. They kept her overnight and gave her fluids and medication, but she was in a lot of pain and her kidneys were getting worse.
I held her in my lap and pet her, and eventually she started purring. When I lifted her off my lap again so that the vet could do what was necessary, I saw that she’d shed all over my lap. I was taken back to the day I met Bella. She was living in a foster home. She sat on my lap and purred as I pet her, shedding and covering me in shed hair. It was a strangely fitting set of bookends for a consumate lapcat.
I will miss her enormously. I will miss how she would insist on being near me, even following me around the house. I will miss her cranky old lady meow. I’ll miss the way she nibbled onalll the plants I’d try to grow, and the way she’d look at me expectantly when I ate string cheese. I’ll miss taking her for walks and I’ll miss the way she kept trying to teach me to be a proper cat. There is so very much I’ll miss about her, and maybe one day I’ll be able to write about it without it hurting, but I’m not there yet.
I never knew how old she was or where she came from or how she ended up on the streets. I just know that Bella was very simply the bestest cat ever.